Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Reason #4278 Why Our Family Shouldn't Have Children... Sissy, you may consider living things your own personal dolls, but I couldn't call Child Services on you- this is way too funny to me.
I hope everyone has some great Halloween plans this weekend, and if there are any pictures I deem attractive enough, I will happily post some of me as a gnome. I just found out Big Bro is a fairy and Sissy is Peter Pan, so apparently we'll have some gender-queer fairyland going on tomorrow.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
The readers of this blog have surely heard of the It Gets Better Project, which stands up against bullying and advocacy for openly gay teens.
I love the project, not only for what it can give to young gay people, but really, what it can give to anyone that never fit in. As someone who jokes that her college was where the freaks and geeks of high school finally managed to find somewhere where they could fit in, I think that this project is so important in the digital world, where kids have literally no place where they can get away from their "social status", or whatever you want to call it. Facebook, texting, IM's, Skype, blogs, YouTube... none of this was around when I was in school. It was hard enough then, and I can't even imagine what it must be like to try and create your own self-image while facing constant speculation and judgment of who other people think you're supposed to be.
So I'm already a huge supporter of It Gets Better, and then this came along, by way of BFF. I made the mistake of watching this at work, and sobbed like a baby. It is so beautiful, and what a powerful message: the song starts with one man, and grows, and grows, and family and friends step in, all to show that it DOES GET BETTER.
Watch it, watch it again, and then share it.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I just love the little suckers so much!! Judging by the 4.6 million and counting hits this has had, I imagine most people have seen this, but this video combines two pop-culture items I love- the Old Spice Guy and Sesame Street. Besides, you get a twofer post today!! I know you love that.
Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Apparently my age group is the target demo for sexy costumes right now... but must we destroy our childhood memories? Wait. On second thought, take TMNT. Go 'head.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Oh those wacky Asians. I loved the Flight Attendant Movie, but I have to say NextMedia's animated news story about Brett Favre's dirty birdy scandal is even better. Banana texts? Heart-eyes on the football field? Awesome.
My favorite part has to be the "NFL officials" looking into the scandal- and apparently checking out porn after doing a keg stand. NFL headquarters... party party party!!
I'll be honest, I don't like Brett Favre as a person... but I'm not sure I would be offended by any lewd texts from him.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
So the first Deathly Hallows trailer made me gasp and get chills all over. THIS one literally had me holding the sides of my computer screen with my face two inches away from the monitor. The mirror shard! DOBBY! The beach scene! Nagini the snake! The Lotsa Potters!
This trailer has turned me into Cookie Monster. ME WANT TO SEE NOW!
Don't worry if you have no idea what I'm talking about. I won't give it away. You should have been reading the books this whole time, but now isn't a time for me to judge you. It is time to welcome you into the fold...because if this movie doesn't get you to read the books, nothing will.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
It's generally best if I'm not allowed in public.
So far, Fashion Week has been mostly normal. Granted, I haven't taken a look through the Couture Collections yet... always rife for strangeness.
All photos from the Daily Mail.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
There is a flea market near Sissy and Big Bro's lake house that is truly an experience that shouldn't be missed. Not only is it your one stop shop for anything from a full set of BetaMax movies to terrifying clown dolls, but I have seen, on more than one occasion, a truly impressive set of truck balls (Not familiar? Why, you have hardly lived a full life. Check it out.) in the parking lot, and there's a lady that drives around in a golf cart selling to-go Fuzzy Navels and Bloody Mary's. You never want for entertainment and strange used things from other people's homes.
When Big Bro showed this picture he took at last weekend's flea market to me last night, I had to share immediately.
Cute kid, right? (Gladiator sandals! They're EVERYWHERE!) Let's pull back on the scene.
All together... awwwwwwww. And... hahaha! I mean, That little girl has gotta be just out of the stroller herself- in my imagination, they take turns pushing each other. Still- let's pull out on the whole scene, shall we?
I like to think that the look in Grandma #1's eyes here is a little jealousy upon seeing the set-up that Grandma #2 is rockin'.
Let's look at that sweet ride one more time.
I always used to envision myself as a silly old lady tooling around on a lollipop-colored scooter wearing a crazy big helmet like The Great Gazoo, but I think I have just gotten a glimpse at my future destiny.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
An illustrated transcript of a text conversation between BFF and I:
Birv: Blech. Sometimes I just wish I had someone that followed me around and gave me manly, reassuring hugs. I need one today!
BFF: Me too! Who would you hire?
Birv: Good question! Definitely someone older... for some reason this brand of hug needs to have some manly experience behind it. I'd vote either Jon Hamm or Nathan Fillion. You?
BFF: I love Nathan. But I got to go with my heart on this and say Scooby Douche. Those arms would pop a baby like a balloon.
(Scooby Douche is the one on the right. He is on Ghost Hunters. I do not know his actual name. BFF, despite vowing to marry him someday, doesn't either.) CORRECTION: Scooby Douche is on Ghost Adventures...(Not having cable, and knowing there are 700,000 paranormal shows on those reality channels, I was forced to choose one...mainly because I am lazy and opening a separate web page to Google the real name would just be so. much. work.) Cat-fish has become even more awesome in my eyes with her knowledge of the stupid crap that I fill my days with- thank you for making me not feel like a total loser by knowing who I am talking about!
Birv: I bet he smells like Calvin Klein Obsession and Strawberry protein smoothie.
BFF: Yes! And hair salon.
Birv: New game! What do our favorite men smell like? Alexander Skarsgaard. Go.
BFF: Leather! And musk. NPH!
Birv: White tic tacs, fresh baked bread and magic. Joel McHale!
BFF: Mmmmmm! Oatmeal, Abercrombie Woods and whiskey. Obama!
Birv: New books, bonfire and Irish Spring Soap. Puck!
BFF: Suntan lotion, pot and dollar bills. Seth MacFarlane.
Birv: New Car, Colgate and the faintest hint of Acqua di Gio. Joseph Gordon Levitt!
BFF: Spearmint Gum, Cedar and honeysuckle. He has a touch of girly something.
Birv: Agreed. A little something sweet!
BFF: Rick Moranis.
Birv: Old Spice, Coffee and vintage comic book. Bill Murray.
BFF: YES! Especially the coffee! Cold cream, cigarette enhanced tweed and wood shavings. RPatz.
Birv: Stale cigarettes, well-used shoes and laundry that's been left in the washer too long. Zachary Levi!
For the record, this photo is proof that nerds are hot. PHWOAR!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Below are the top trends from this summer that I just can't get over, and after working at various street festivals all summer long, I couldn't get away from.
First up... shoes!
I'm not a huge fan of the Gladiator sandal, though (perhaps through sheer overexposure) I have acknowledged they have a place in the world. But this type of shoe, (this particular one is the BCBGeneration Kija)... I just don't get it. Is it a boot? Is it a sandal? Does it make your ankle sweat? I implore you, ladies, think of the tan lines!While we're at it with the feet:
Legwarmers/Kneehighs with sandals/clogs/any footwear and shorts/skirts/etc. is wrong. I thought we finally all agreed to this. Have we not, for generations, been discussing the faux pas of our fathers and grandfathers wearing sandals with socks? Let's not confuse things here. When it comes to it, I suppose I'd rather you wear the boot/sandal monster above than this look.
From bottom to top:
One of the main reasons I hate summer is what it does to my hair. It's not really fun to go three months looking like a sweaty troll doll. While I suppose these hippie-redux headbands WOULD keep my hair from reaching maximum lift-off, I also hate the feeling of my damp hair plastered to the side of my face, and I can't see how this does anything but add to the problem.
The Boyfriend Tee:
I add this with a caveat; I like feminized menswear, and am actually a fan of the whole "boyfriend shirt" trend, when done right. However, I feel it should be noted that SHIRTS ARE NOT DRESSES.
Ladies, Vanessa Hudgens can not pull off this look, and we are not Vanessa Hudgens. Where are your pants? I have seen everything from the teenytiny jorts, which I am not a fan of, but will at least accept that you are somewhat aware of being in public, to the oblivious full moon that leads me to believe that it's not a few girls taking fashion to an unfortunate place, and that the shirt-as-solo is a full-on trend.
A note: if your shirt barely covers your cheeks while standing straight up, wear something underneath it. I think I speak for a grateful Chicago when I say we don't want to see your nethers when you bend over to pick up the food tickets you dropped while buying your big ass turkey leg.
Additional sidebar on this rant, $50 plus is too much to spend on a lumpy t-shirt. Please go get an XXXL from Hanes if you are so obliged.
From mini to maxi:
I add this as an homage to Sissy, who really hates this look. I don't, though I think, as with the Boyfriend Trend, strict rules apply. If you are using the maxi dress as a modern muumuu, seek help. If you fail the Pencil Test, WEAR A BRA.
Actually, two birds, one stone: this rule ties in nicely with the yearly nightmare of tube tops...unflattering on everyone. Always pulling them up, sagging issues, certain anatomy looking like flapjacks. Who likes that swampy feeling under there? What if you get sweat marks?! I speak from experience that the sisters should be contained, for your own sake. Halters are just not for us, mmkay?
I suppose that's the moral of this post altogether: just because it's out there, it doesn't mean you have to wear it. Don't be a slave to fashion! Some things shouldn't be worn by women over the age of 25 (Forever 21, I am looking at you.) Some things don't fit your body, no matter what size they come in. Some things really are meant for you to wear at home (yes you, rompers!)...at least if you're over the age of 5. A Birv rule of thumb: If you are constantly adjusting yourself- pulling something up, pulling something down, taking off and immediately putting back on- it's not flattering on you.