Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Get Your Boobies Out, It's HALLOWEEN!

That time is upon us- the time to dress as slutty as possible in public. All in the name of Halloween. I take full part in it- I was a slutty pirate last year (when else can one wear a petticoat??), and some costumes make sense in a slutty concept: sexy cop, sexy schoolgirl. However, when you begin dressing up mundane items to be sexy, I just don't understand it. So today we're showing my top 10(ish) trends in weird slutty costumes. (Up top is Brian from Family Guy. It doesn't make much sense to me either, because you know, you don't look like him at all.)

This one isn't really a weird theme, flappers make sense in slutty, so it's more like a bonus post. I just feel the need to say that there are some bold ass women out there. This is sheer. WHAT KIND OF PARTY ARE YOU ATTENDING, MADAM??

Another bonus post: Magazine. I actually think this is HILARIOUS. I saw some others that are fine art too, which are unfortunately sold out, because otherwise I would totally do the Mona Lisa.

Sexy Board Games. Yeah, nothing's sexier than SCRABBLE. OOH,Triple Word Score me, baby!

Sexy Olive Oyl. Isn't the whole point of Olive Oyl that she ISN'T sexy?

Sexy Mrs. Potato-head. Really? I mean... REALLY?

Sexy Strawberry Shortcake. My childhood is ruined!!! (I seriously LOVED Strawberry Shortcake. I had the Atari game, where you had to make the Purple Pie Man nice, I dressed up (non-sexily) as S.S's cat, Custard one year, and one of my favorite movies was when she went to the Big Apple City. I also had one of the blow-kiss dolls- remember those? They would kiss you, and it would smell like strawberries.) But bonus points to the manufacturer for having the berry gang: Apple Dumplin', Blueberry Muffin and Lemon Merengue are all for sale. Okay. You caught me. If they weren't almost $60 I'd probably be Blueberry Muffin. I like her hat.

Sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Apparently my age group is the target demo for sexy costumes right now... but must we destroy our childhood memories? Wait. On second thought, take TMNT. Go 'head.

Sexy Pac-Man Ghost. This really isn't a stand-alone costume... it makes way more sense if there are 4 or 5 of you running around in these.

Beer Pong. My main problem with this is that outside of the ping pong ball necklace and the quote, which also appears on the butt of this dress, "Don't forget to wash your balls" (heh), it doesn't really have anything to do with beer pong. Call me a purist, but it's cheating if you have to tell someone what you are because really, you're basically wearing a condom.

Recycling. Kind of like Beer Pong, it's very difficult to dress up as a concept for Halloween. How do you explain what you are when someone asks? "I'm recycling." "Are you a superhero?" "No, I'm recycling." "Are you from like, a movie?" "No, I'm RECYCLING. tuh."

The Man In The Canoe. Slutty Costumes- not just for girls anymore! I will admit, this one made me laugh. Wait for it... it'll come to you.

Sexy Nemo. Disney is cute on your kid, disturbing on you.

Number one with a bullet: Anna Rexia. The irony that this comes in plus sizes actually makes it sort of funny.

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