I need your help, guys. I'm pretty sure AlsoBeth is trying to kill me. First, she sent me the picture above over the weekend, changing my peaceful Saturday afternoon into a riot of tears and hiding in the closet.
Now, she sends me an email with this link, with this seemingly benign comment: "a little something to brighten??? your day."
WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU??!?!?!?! Here's a sampling of what she sent me...
Normally the scariest dolls to me are the ones that are unmanipulated; inherently scary by their very design, like that goddamned stoma doll in the middle there. BFF's big-eye dolls, her Blythe collection, scares the crap out of me. They seem like they know something. Like maybe where the knives are kept downstairs. However, I have to add that last one to the list of dolls that will haunt me forever. What are those teeth from? Is this some sort of cannibal baby?
I'm unsure as to AlsoBeth's motives for terrorizing me, but I have a theory. I think she wants to establish Total Beth Dominance. Maybe it's like that movie Highlander, and she'll absorb all my knowledge by destroying me. I'll have the last laugh if that's the case... all she'll be adding to her brain arsenal is an unhealthy amount of Big Lebowski quotes and a carnival organ song playing on a constant loop in her head.