Monday, January 23, 2012

But Cashmere Is So Hard to Clean...

I'm all for having things feel nice down by my lady bits, but a pair of cashmere undies seems less than desirable. Swampy, even. Do you wear undies under these undies? How do you keep them, you know, clean? They have a cotton gusset, so maybe they aren't SO bad? (PS... that's one of my favorite words... "gusset." Just thinking that someone at sometime in lingerie history came up with a word to describe that piece of your underwear that sits on your hooch, and then made it sound like the skeeviest, most onomatopoetic word in history delights me to no end. GUSSET.) Is this a wool fetish thing? Is it a hipster thing?  Judging by the other items in the Etsy shop... I'm thinking it's a hipster thing. Which annoys me all the more, and just proves that I'm getting to be a super crabby old lady, alienated by today's annoying youth. Except hipsters aren't so young. What the fuck is the deal, hipsters?  Why do you always dress so ironically? Why do you look so destitute, yet have the best electronic devices available on the market? What the fuck is the deal with Bon Iver? Why are you always barefoot? Why are you always roaming around in packs? Are you homeless? Are you all living (read: squatting) in some sort of supergreen (filthy) upcycled (abandoned) community property (warehouse) by the docks?

OH WAIT I THINK YOU ARE


Stay off my lawn, you dirty-footed circus people.